Dear Karen,

Congratulations on the impending offer. Now you are about to handle one of the most important calls in your career, one that can make a difference of thousands of dollars, not just this year but for many years to come.

The first thing to realize is how the power in the relationship between the employer and you is about to shift. Until now, they have held most of the power. They decided which resumes to pick and which to trash; when, where, and with whom you would interview; whether or not to invite you back for additional interviews; whether to drop you from the selection process or at long last put you at the top of the list and make you an offer.

But now all of that is about to change. Once they decide that YOU are the Number One candidate they want, they hand you almost all the power in the relationship. After that point, you get to decide how good of an offer is good enough to accept or not. If, for any reason, you do not come on board, they will blame themselves for not meeting your needs (within reason, of course.)

For a brief time, between the time they make that offer and the time you accept, you are the one in control. And you should be prepared to take that control. You should know beforehand what will make your employment relationship ideal for you. Those factors go beyond just salary into such issues as:

• What benefits do you want and need?
• What bonuses and other financial incentives are important to you?
• How much vacation time and schedule flexibility do you want?
• Do you want to get any more education, or perhaps a whole degree?
• What kind of relocation assistance might you need?

That said, handling the offer itself is one of the most critical moments in the negotiation process. Typically, the employer will call you on the phone to say something like “Congratulations! We have decided to offer you the job of Project Manager, with a base salary of $50,000 per year, our full health care package, two weeks of vacation, yadda, yadda, yadda…”

Once they have completed outlining the offer, your best response is simple. You never accept on the spot. You never decline on the spot. You simply repeat the salary amount, followed by a thoughtful “Hmmmm….” And then you pause silently for 5 … 6 … 7 … 8 … perhaps up to 10 seconds.

Consider what goes through their minds during that pregnant pause. I guarantee you there is only one thought: “Oh dear, we didn’t offer enough!” Though you voiced no overt objections, they will already be considering how much they should raise the offer. Some clients I have coached have had their offers raised ON THE SPOT on the phone (“Well, we COULD go up to $55,000…”), even though they said nothing beyond that thoughtful “Hmmmm…”

More likely, they will sit in anxious silence waiting for your reply. After your pregnant pause, thank them for the offer, reiterate your excitement about the position, but say nothing else about the amount. Simply ask how much time you can have to consider the offer, and when you can get together again to discuss your thoughts. Ask for at least 24 hours, and preferably 2-3 days to consider. While on the phone, make sure you have all the other details you need regarding benefits, vacation, schedule flexibility, education, relocation, etc.

Then, when you do meet again, discuss each item on your checklist of issues, in order of importance. Follow each item with a simple, but diplomatic, question: “What flexibility do you have in that area?”

Once you have gotten their best responses in each area, the final power decision is yours to make. You are not likely to have gotten everything on your wish list, but if they have met enough of your needs to feel excited and valued about the job, give them your conditional verbal acceptance. Then insist on seeing the final detailed offer in writing, before you give your definitive, binding acceptance.

Congratulations again Karen. Take control of the situation with confidence, and with your thoughtful “Hmmmm…”